Water, Water Everywhere, and Every Drop Blessed
I'm sorry to be running you around like this, but nobody's perfect except me, so what the hell. I have a few (but just a few) Dung Beetle Saddles for sale. Send in the measurements of your beetle and I will see what I can do.
+ + + + + + + +
Listen. It's quite possible that Ol' Hoss is onto something that might make him some money. As is well-known, Hoss needs to to Make My Pile before he turns tits up because he wants a pretty fancy funeral. And fancy requires lots of do-re-me.
Here's the skinny: Catholics gotta have their holy water, right? I mean, they need it for baptisms and other sacraments of the church. And the only way the water gets to be holy is if some priest blesses it. Some mumbo-jumbo is involved, but it takes at least 5 minutes and whatta they got when they're done? A couple quarts of holy water? And then if it needs some salt, which a lot of holy water apparently does because Jesus called The Apostles "The salt of the earth," then there's some more mumbo-jumbo right there.
Well, Ol' Hoss has figured out how to get it wholesale. See, the plan is I will get a priest to bless the Dead Sea, which you can see is plenty salty already. So just one round of mumbo-jumbo will do for all the water there. And then Hoss can truck it out through Bethlehem (for added flavor) and ship it off to the U.S. of A. for distribution to priests throughout the country.
These here priests will be thanking me mightily for saving them that 5 minutes of prayin' and carryin' on every few days, and will be letting me dip into the collection plates from time to time. The neat thing is this will be non-taxable income, as it has been given in the service of the Lord.
I will need to find out if I have to pay workers' comp.
+ + + + + + + +
My favorite word today is wahoo hah-hah. N., boorrriiinng. Def.: The forced laughter you emit following your boss's 14th straight joke about blondes who happen to be polacks.
+ + + + + + + +
Listen. It's quite possible that Ol' Hoss is onto something that might make him some money. As is well-known, Hoss needs to to Make My Pile before he turns tits up because he wants a pretty fancy funeral. And fancy requires lots of do-re-me.
Here's the skinny: Catholics gotta have their holy water, right? I mean, they need it for baptisms and other sacraments of the church. And the only way the water gets to be holy is if some priest blesses it. Some mumbo-jumbo is involved, but it takes at least 5 minutes and whatta they got when they're done? A couple quarts of holy water? And then if it needs some salt, which a lot of holy water apparently does because Jesus called The Apostles "The salt of the earth," then there's some more mumbo-jumbo right there.
Well, Ol' Hoss has figured out how to get it wholesale. See, the plan is I will get a priest to bless the Dead Sea, which you can see is plenty salty already. So just one round of mumbo-jumbo will do for all the water there. And then Hoss can truck it out through Bethlehem (for added flavor) and ship it off to the U.S. of A. for distribution to priests throughout the country.
These here priests will be thanking me mightily for saving them that 5 minutes of prayin' and carryin' on every few days, and will be letting me dip into the collection plates from time to time. The neat thing is this will be non-taxable income, as it has been given in the service of the Lord.
I will need to find out if I have to pay workers' comp.
+ + + + + + + +
My favorite word today is wahoo hah-hah. N., boorrriiinng. Def.: The forced laughter you emit following your boss's 14th straight joke about blondes who happen to be polacks.
posted by OldHorsetailSnake | 4:54 PM
|
17 comments
